On the lighter side: Put your pants on standing up.

Here is a (partly) tongue-in-cheek short essay to make you re-think how you get dressed in the morning.

How do you put your pants on?

What’s the one exercise that will keep you young into your 80s?  More people should be asking this question, and the answer might be surprising to you.  It’s simple, and from a scientific point of view, irrefutable:  Put your pants on standing up.  Every day.  More than once if you can.

Come on, how many of us find it a struggle to get some exercise every day?  Yet very few of us get through the day without putting on pants.  (We’ll call the rest the ‘lucky ones’)  From a behavioural therapy point of view, we are more successful at reinforcing new habits when we tie them to something we already do regularly.  You put your pants on every day, right?  So start doing it standing up.

Excuse number one:

"I don’t have the balance."

So you say.  Hmm.  Did you know that breaking a hip increases your risk of dying in the next 12 months?  And that people who fall sometimes break their hips.  And that people fall because their balance is poor.  And that balance declines because we fail to practice it?  Tell you what, how about practicing your balance every day, by putting your pants on standing up?

"I’m too far gone for that."

Again, so you say.  Well, start by standing close to the wall.  If you lose control, lean your shoulder into it for balance.  After a couple of weeks, that wall’s getting pretty lonely.

"My belly gets in the way when I bend down. "

Ok, well, that’s a good point.  Eat better food, and less of it.  And get some exercise.  Once that belly shrinks, you’ll be fine.

"I have back pain and can’t bend over." 

That is not a good enough excuse.  There are hundreds of physiotherapists and other professionals nearby just waiting to help you with that.  And don’t give up if the first place you go doesn’t work out.  Find someone who specializes in your type of back pain.  [hint: I do] Get that better, and you’ll be putting your pants on standing up.

"My hip is stiff, and it hurts far too much to bend it all the way.  "

We can agree that is a problem.  Well in 2009 the Australian government published a report on hip and knee arthritis, with a whopping 34 recommendations for non-surgical treatment of osteoarthritis.  Can you name even 10 of them?  If not, go see someone about your hip and get that taken care of, because you’ve just got to get those pants on standing up.  And do it slowly, as slow as you can.  Slower than debit card machines on Boxing Day.  The slower the better.

My pants are too tight for that. 

Then stop dressing like a teenager. 

I have a bad ankle that I can’t stand on. 

Get it stronger. 

I get dizzy when I bend my head down. 

Oh, gee, you actually might have an inner ear condition. See a vestibular physiotherapist [hint: I'm one], because we can help. 

I feel silly doing it. 

Then close your blinds and stop dressing in front of the window.

I can do this already. 

Good.  Now try getting those pants on standing up, both feet at the same time.  All you need is a soft mattress and some knowledge of the Fosbury flop.  Get to it, because this is a true statement:  the more often you get those pants on standing up, the longer you will live.

Jeffrey Begg, PT.  Clinical Specialist Physiotherapist.

Wearer of pants.